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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Kourtney Kardashian: Scott Disick’s dong is like an “elephant’s trunk”

We’ve been covering a lot of Kat-face Kardashian lately, and ignoring the other Kardashian/Jenner ladies. To be fair, I hate even discussing the Jenner girls because they’re so young and I dislike how they’re being pushed into the public sphere. But Kourtney and Khloe have purposefully taken more of a backseat lately, I think because of Kim’s wedding and her subsequent post-nuptial catastrophe (wherein Kim and Kris Humphries realize that they don’t even like each other). So… here’s a story about all three of the Kardashian girls. They did a radio interview with xoJane that got slightly raunchy and completely gross. It involved which of their men was/is well-endowed, bromances and who doesn’t wear underwear (hint: he’s a serial killer).

Jane: Oh you want go with that one?! I was going to go with is Chris well endowed? But okay. All the gay guys in our office want this to be true. Rob and Scott.
Kourtney: Like — did they ever hook up?
Khloe: Only on Wednesdays.
Kim: I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. I always say that.
Kourtney: They’re, like, obsessed with each other. (to her sisters) What IS that double kiss they do?
Kim: They love to kiss.
Kourtney: Rob and Lamar kiss. They kiss each other on their cheeks, this is so awkward, I don’t know what it is about them. But I will say, Scott and Lamar are both only children, and Robert is basically an only child because he is a boy and we, like, don’t talk to him. So maybe they’re all so desperate for affection that it’s like their own little ménage a trois.


Jane: We’re getting the hook — they’re telling us we’re out of time! Okay, wait — is Kris [Humpries] well endowed? They all think he is.
Kourtney: I would think he is.
Kim: (decidedly not feeling us) I don’t really like questions like that.
Khloe: We got all of the preview of Scott at his parents’.
Kim: Even today. Honestly, it’s way too much. He has to start wearing some tighty-whities.
Khloe: He was wearing pajama pants and no undies and you could see it all.
Kim: So inappropriate.
Kourtney: It’s like an elephant’s trunk.
Kim: You guys!
Khloe: He kept going, “I’m trying to compete with Lamar” and I was like “Oh, stop it, you two.”
Kourtney: I just got a Google alert, because Scott and I just had our date night.
Kim: You have your own Google alerts? We have that on record: Kourtney has her own Google alerts and checks them.
Kourtney: We went on a date night in the Meatpacking last night, so the story said, “The Meatpacking District isn’t the only thing packing meat!” Scott was wearing a suit with no underwear last night, so you could see, like, something.
Kim: What?! Like, that’s NOT normal. We have got to by him some underwear for his birthday or something. This is freaking me out.
Kourtney: He never has any!

Jane: So I’ll just extrapolate: you are all dong fine in that department. So we don’t need to say anything more about it.
Khloe: We are all doing fine. But we need to buy Scott some underwear.

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