Jonathan Van Ness is still on a journey with his binge eating disorder, but tells PEOPLE that opening up about it was a key part in helping him heal.
While discussing his new partnership with Rakuten recently, the Queer Eye star got candid about the work he's been doing to overcome a binge eating disorder, which he first revealed he'd been struggling with "for a long time" in a candid Instagram post back in October.
"This isn't instantaneous," Van Ness, 35, says. "Healing and recovery is something that I think we're always in relationship with. I wish I could just neatly package my trauma and put it on a shelf and be like, 'Okay, well I did that. That's figured out.' But I think that ... you're just more in relationship with your pain or with whatever your struggle is."
For Van Ness, therapy has been "really helpful and really useful in having the strength to be that vulnerable and to share that journey." He's also been working with a nutritionist. "I have a little team that I go to that's been helping me navigate," he says.
But none of that would have happened had Van Ness not spoken up in the first place.
"Whatever your burden is, shame thrives in secrecy, so when we can be more open about it and ask for help — whether it's with your therapist or a trusted friend or a support group, whatever it is — I think that's when we can really get into our healing," Van Ness says. "We can bring that shame out into the open, and then it doesn't have to be scared anymore."
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Van Ness is a big proponent of self-care, which is why the author and podcast host wanted to partner with Rakuten, to create his own shopping list, with "treat yourself" picks for loved ones (and that loved one can be yourself!) — all of which provide 10% cash back to Rakuten users when you shop his picks.
"When I first heard about [Rakuten's cash back platform], I was like, what's the catch? There's got to be a catch.' But there is no catch!" he tells PEOPLE. "You just get this check quarterly! A little gift back to you for giving to others!'
"It really is just so cool because you're literally going to get these brands anyway, so why not get some cash back in your pocket?" he adds. "Show me the money, Jerry Maguire! I love the service. It's so fierce."
Notably on his picks list? JVN Hair, Van Ness's acclaimed hair line.
"It's honestly been the most rewarding, most exciting experience in my career," Van Ness says of putting together the line. "I've always loved haircare but I never thought that I would be in a position to start my own haircare brand. But I have the unique vantage point of being in the chair as a client, working 15 years as a hairdresser, and then being on camera ... to make a more user-friendly brand that centered on universal hair products."
Van Ness focused on making a line that was accessible to everyone. "Ultimately, it doesn't matter what type of hair you have," he explains. "It doesn't matter what race you are, what gender you are, where you come from. Hair is hair is hair, and it either needs more moisture or it needs more strength or it needs more volume and body."
"Our little motto is 'Come as you are' because I want everyone to know that you're already beautiful. Your hair already looks amazing, you are worth celebrating no matter what," he says. "We're simply here to say, 'How can we help you get the look you want without damaging it and helping bring out the best in your texture?' "
This busy year has been "a lot," Van Ness says, but it's still gratifying.
"I pinch myself 10 times a day because I can't believe that I get to do this," Van Ness says. "Sometimes, I'm like, 'Am I on Sliding Doors? Is there another me that's doing hair somewhere?' This is just too much sometimes, but I just love it."
