Patton Oswalt Vs. Phoebe Price

Dear Gross, Over-Sexualized Reality Star Nobody Currently at Mr. Bones’ Pumpkin Patch, Posing for The Photogs You Hired To Come: Please Die
Seriously, this is a place for little kids and this mildew-ey swamp slut is treating it like an FHM shoot. I have no idea who she is.

This is so sad. She’s got some hag-like publicist throwing her toys to pose with. Dressed like a “sexy” pirate. Fuck. Off.

NO WAY am I taking a picture of this silicon-chested scarecrow. I DO want to gather some goose shit from the petting zoo & pelt her.

We’ve left. She’s still there, on top of inflatable skeleton slide posing like a goddamn spaz. Skeezy redhead. Don’t know name, don’t care.

The movie monster who scared me the most as a child was Pippi Longstocking.

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