Brittani Boren Leach is reflecting on the death of her son, three years later.
The YouTuber and her husband, Jeff, lost their 3-month-old son Crew in Dec. 2019, after he was found unresponsive while napping on Christmas Day.
In an Instagram Story Thursday, she looked back on the heartbreaking moment, sharing a video of her and Jeff's final goodbyes to Crew, set to the song "Homesick" by MercyMe.
"Three years ago tomorrow we said our final goodbye to our precious boy. How do you say goodbye to your child for the last time? I don't know," she captioned the heartwrenching scene.
Looking ahead, Boren Leach shared her hopes for the new year as she continues to honor Crew's memory.
"One of my goals for 2023 is to hopefully meet the little one who received Crew's heart," the mom of six wrote. "I think I'm ready."
Sharing a past photo of baby Crew lying next to wrapped Christmas presents earlier this week, Boren Leach shared a heartfelt Christmas wish for her late son.
"When the sun sets and the chaos of the day disappears, that's when I miss you the most. I imagine you celebrating Jesus' birthday in the most beautiful way, looking down at us with your sweet little grin," she wrote.
"And as the day comes to an end, I know we are just one more Christmas closer to you. Merry Christmas in Heaven sweet boy, I love you Crew ❤️," she concluded.
Sharing a digital drawing of the family with Crew on what would have been his third birthday in September, the mom celebrated her little boy and lamented the moments she's missed out on with him.
"3 years ago at 6:50 am our sweet Crew was born. Little did we know that we would only get 3 1/2 short months with him," she wrote.
"I wish I could see him now, at 3 years old, to know what he looks like, or what his birthday table would look like this year, and to know what it feels like to have him curl up in my lap and wrap his arms around my neck," Boren Leach continued. "I'm sure that Heaven is having the most beautiful celebration for him today, but I selfishly wish he was here instead."
"If Crew's life has touched yours in any way, I would love it if we could bring a little kindness to the world today in honor of him. You never know how his life could impact someone else's day. Happy 3rd birthday Crew, we love you," she concluded.
