Kelly Clarkson is sharing an unvarnished view of how her kids are doing, following her split from their dad Brandon Blackstock.
On Angie Martinez's IRL podcast Monday, the "Breakaway" singer, 40, said that she makes it a ritual to check in on son Remington "Remy" Alexander, 7 next month, and daughter River Rose, 8½, and gauge their feelings, one year after she finalized her divorce from Blackstock, 46.
"I ask my kids every night when we're snuggling and I put them to bed, 'Are you happy? And if you're not, what could make you happier?' " Clarkson said. "Especially the past two years ... it kills me [but] I want them to be honest so I don't ever say, 'Oh God, don't tell me that,' but a lot of times it would be like, 'I'm just really sad. I wish Mommy and Daddy were in the same house.' They're really honest about it. I'm raising that kind of individual."
The talk-show host continued, "I just sit there and I'm like, 'I get it. I'm from a divorced family as well. I get it. That sucks. But we're going to work it out. And you are so loved by both of us.' "
"I think [it's important to be] communicating with them and ... not treating them like an adult, because they're not, but not treating them like a child," Clarkson added. "They're not small feelings. Those are huge feelings, and those are huge emotions."
Clarkson and Martinez, 52, bonded during the interview about having absent fathers while growing up, which impacted the "Because of You" singer's parenting philosophy.
"I think I am my mother's child, and I'm raising very independent children," Clarkson said. "They will be out the door as soon as they're able and capable. They're very independent."
For "Miss Independent" herself, the past is helping her fuel her current – and future – happiness, she said.
"Every phase is on my next record," Clarkson explained. "There is sadness. There is rage. It's a lot because you go through all those emotions. If you don't hit all those, were you really in it?"
She added that the divorce contributed to a "really rough couple of years" and that therapy helped to see her through: "I was destroyed — like, on the ground, crying. That's a loss. It's a death."
In a cover story interview with Variety published last summer, Clarkson opened up about seeking help, and being vulnerable with her kids.
"I think the most important thing I've learned in therapy, especially through this divorce, is don't hide everything from your kids," she told the outlet. "Obviously, don't talk about stuff that you shouldn't talk about, but it's okay if they see you cry, or it's okay if they see you've had a bad day."
The American Idol season 1 winner continued, "You start to feel that kind of shame, like, 'I've got to put my best foot forward as a mom because I don't want them to be affected.' "
"But then you allow your kids to express empathy, and they learn how to say, 'Oh, man, I'm sorry you had a hard day,' " Clarkson added.
