Heather Graham has played everything from a stripper to a doctor. Offscreen, one role she's chosen not to take on: mom.
"I think we all have different paths," Graham, 53, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "You just have to embrace the one that you're on. If, somehow, I had had kids, I'm sure that would've been cool. But at the moment, not having kids, I do feel free. And I get a lot of sleep. That is pretty great."
The On a Wing and a Prayer star knows her decision doesn't align with societal norms.
"I do feel like as a woman, culturally, you're not allowed to say, 'I didn't want to have kids. Because it's like, what's wrong with you?'" Graham tells PEOPLE. "I think as a man it's like, oh yeah, cool, you didn't want to have kids. Now, women are getting more free to just make their own choices."
The actress believes "if you're meant to have kids, you have kids," and that since she didn't "the universe gives you someone or something to nurture."
As a result, Graham has started working behind the camera more. She soon plans to turn Liane Moriarty's Hypnotist's Love Story into a TV show.
"I don't feel that I'm missing anything," the Wisconsin native says. "I do sometimes feel like my projects are little kids; I have started to get more involved in producing and writing and directing."
"It's hard, but it's super fulfilling," she continues. "It's really exciting to want to tell a story that you really care about."
While Graham feels confident in the path she has chosen, she admits one mysterious role that she passed on keeps her up at night.
"Sometimes I do wake up in the morning thinking about it, going, why didn't you do that movie?" the two-time SAG nominee says. "I am embarrassed to even say [the name of] it because it's so dumb that I didn't do it. But I believe that you're on your path and I'm grateful. I'm so happy that I got to be an actress."
As she's grown up, though, Graham likes to look at life holistically.
"Almost like career is secondary," she says. "I was super ambitious as a younger person, but my most important goal is to enjoy my life. It's so much more fulfilling than trying so hard to be somewhere in your career. Of course, I still am ambitious, but whenever I can really relax and get into a place of gratitude, then I feel like I really can enjoy all the good things in my life, which I have a lot."
On a Wing and a Prayer is streaming now on Amazon Prime Video.
.jpg "Heather Graham Says She Doesn't 'Feel That I'm Missing Anything' by Not Having Kids")
