Charity Lawson wasn’t going to settle for anything less than what she deserved as the Bachelorette.
After Xavier admitted to being “unfaithful” in a past relationship during his Fantasy Suite date, Charity, 27, faced him for the first time during Monday’s Men Tell All episode.
Speaking to PEOPLE afterwards, Charity says she thinks Xavier “definitely still has room to grow” after hearing his apology on Monday.
“I was being gracious tonight and extending him grace with how he navigated that conversation with me,” she explains, adding that Xavier “has probably had time to really reflect a lot” and “make sense of what he was saying” during their tense conversation in Fiji.
The child and family therapist said that Xavier “did vocalize” to her that he’s been “replaying that conversation ever since” it happened.
Charity says she’s also “aware” of his efforts to be a better partner since their breakup.
“I will applaud him on his efforts thus far,” she explains, referring to Xavier’s disclosure on the episode that he’s begun seeing a therapist to better understand their split.
“We’re here now, and I’m glad that that’s where he’s at now,” Charity adds of Xavier, who gave her a disappointing answer when she asked what “work” he’s done to learn from his past infidelity. “In that moment, I was floored with that answer too. Reflecting on something as big as infidelity is not going to cut it; it’s not enough.”
Xavier’s apology during the Men Tell All included a knitted rose he created for Charity as a nod to their hometown date to a knitting class.
“I think he realizes that him just being aware, and alluding and acknowledging, that in this moment, accountability is everything,” Charity explains. “As long as he’s accountable for his actions and understanding how they not only affect himself, but everyone around him is important.”
As for sending Xavier home during the Fantasy Suite date, Charity says that “was a very empowering moment for me.”
The Bachelorette lead also hopes “it’ll be an empowering moment for other people watching the show” — many of whom have watched her “growth go high and low throughout” the season.
Still, she feels that her response to Xavier’s confession was “a very pivotal point” for her, even beyond her romantic relationships.
“Having the power to just be like, ‘You know what? No, we draw the line here. Enough is enough,’” she says.
The biggest revelation for Charity came in the moment she realized “this isn’t going to be a person I will spend forever with,” she recalls. “This is not going to be a person that will cherish me.”
Charity explains that she needed to be “selfish enough” to tell herself she’s “not going to settle for less” after coming into the season “knowing exactly” what she wanted in a husband. Xavier was “right in front of me telling me that this is not it,” she says.
After audiences watch Xavier’s apology, Charity hopes “people back home in relationships” will “find a voice in all of this for themselves.” She also hopes Xavier will learn from it, noting “there is a way” for him to better handle that conversation in the future.
“Any behavior that we do in life, if it’s something that what we seem is or deem as negative, there’s room for growth,” she explains. “There’s room to turn things around, but that’s where the work comes in.”
However, Charity says she “doesn’t have the tolerance” for someone who hasn’t “done the work” to better themselves.
“I’m not going to sacrifice myself and my happiness to put myself back in a situation where I’m rebuilding someone. I’m looking for someone who’s whole, who’s done the work,” she says.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
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