In November 2022, aspiring country artist Taylor Sanders was preparing to shoot the music video for her debut single "Firecracker." As she sat in her stylist's chair, she received a devastating phone call.
"I was pregnant and had just gotten a follow-up ultrasound," recalls Sanders, 37, in an interview. "They estimated I was about eight weeks along, but then they told me the heartbeat had stopped."
This was the heartbeat that Sanders and her husband, Adam, had been eagerly waiting to hear, a heartbeat that they believed would change their lives. For the rest of the day, Sanders allowed herself to grieve deeply.
"I told myself I was going to cry and grieve the morning of the video shoot, but then I would get my makeup on and get ready to shoot the video," Sanders recounts. "It was like I dissociated from myself and became the artist 'Taylor Sanders' instead of the person."
Supported by her team, Sanders pushed forward. "I wasn’t experiencing any physical symptoms of miscarriage yet," says Sanders, who married Adam in 2012. "I thought if I could hold it together emotionally and mentally, I could just be strong and do what I love. We had invested so much into this, so I decided to push forward."
She then embarked on the 16-hour shoot for "Firecracker."
"I was sad and angry for a long time," Sanders explains about the painful months following the loss of their baby, whom they called 'little blue.' "But I couldn’t give up on myself."
In December 2023, Sanders found hope again as she welcomed her son, Gage Wolf. However, just three weeks after Gage's birth, Sanders faced another tragedy when her mother passed away.
"She had bone marrow cancer called myelofibrosis," Sanders says of her mom, who had been her 'momager' throughout her career. "She underwent an allogeneic stem cell transplant but died from complications of grade four graft-versus-host disease and sepsis. She was 60 years old and the strongest person I know. I’ve never seen anyone fight so hard."
Despite grieving the losses of her baby and her mother, Sanders believes there is a purpose behind her struggles.
"God puts us through certain situations to make us stronger," Sanders says through tears. "He says in the book of Peter 'that only for a while will you suffer.' So, I hold onto that."
Sanders also holds onto her music, including her new single "Other Side."
"'Other Side' is about how you sometimes have to climb mountains to find the light on the other side," Sanders explains about the song, which she co-wrote with Terran 'T-RAN' Gilbert, Cash Callaway, and Daniel McCurdy. "It’s all about reaching for the light on the other side of the pain. I am strong enough to keep moving on, and I know I’ll be a stronger person for it."
The Quran - Chapter Al-Waqi'ah : 36
making them virgins,
