Justin Bieber Cheated On Selena Gomez With A Chick Named ‘Macarena’

Mommar Gadhafi was apparently killed this morning, but he didn’t cheat on Selena Gomez, so who gives a shit? This is Macarena Lemos, an Argentian model – I’m guessing for Arby’s. (That’ll hit you in a second.) – who claims she recently “met” with Justin Bieber in Buenos Aires, and I know what you’re thinking, Selena is way hotter, which is absolutely true.

But think back to when you were a young, horny 17-year-old boy trying to stick your penis in just about anything (Actually that never goes away.) and then imagine that boy with a private jet and millions upon millions of dollars. It’s a miracle he doesn’t have a robot hooker butler because I’d have built 10 by now. “LotionTron 8000, your jumbo jugs/waffle makers are malfunctioning. Wrap your itself in a shower curtain and sit out by the curb.”



God, I need to get rich.

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