Kim Menzies' happily ever after with Usman "Sojaboy" Umar is looking less and less likely on 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?
On Sunday night's episode, the San Diego native, 52, visited her fiancé's home Sokoto, Nigeria, where she sought the blessing of 33-year-old Usman's mother and the rest of his family.
The meeting went poorly.
"It is going way worse than I ever thought it was going to go," Kim said. "The cow didn't even help me. They think I'm being disrespectful and I'm trying to bribe them."
On last week's episode, Kim bought a bull for Usman's mother. The traditional gift was meant to show love for the family but was instead perceived as a self-serving gesture.
In the family's living room, Kim and Usman tried to talk it through with the family when Kim asked permission to speak.
"I really wish that you could get to know me for who I am. Everything I do is from my heart. People that know me would die if they thought that your family would think I would bribe them."
She teared up as Usman's brother explained that they had a bad experience, referring to Usman's first wife Lisa Hamme.
"That's not my fault," Kim said while crying. "That's not my problem. If you don't agree with me and you'll never accept me, I'll go home."
She continued by saying the cow was not a bribe, and although she is not the perfect woman, "the love is there."
In a confessional, Kim compared the conversation to "talking to a brick wall." While she said she understood that the family was worried about repeating events of the past, she didn't think it was fair to be stereotyped.
"I'm not like her, and I feel really dumb that I have to defend myself this much," she said with a shrug.
The family spoke to each other while Usman listened and Kim attempted to present her position.
"Me allowing him to have a second wife, that's a lot for me in my culture," she explained.
The couple, who has long discussed the issue of Usman's desire to have children despite his fiancée being past that point in her life, explained their situation to the family.
Usman's mother listened for a while before saying that she preferred her son to marry a younger, local woman first.
"I think he should marry a younger woman. This is our tradition, and one should respect tradition," Usman's mother said, adding that she was worried her son would run off and follow his American wife.
After some tense moments, Usman's mother left the room, and his brother explained that she wanted Kim and Usman to leave the house.
In a confessional with the couple, Usman said they didn't expect it to be so hard to convince his mother to let them wed.
"We really don't know what we're going to do now," Kim said.
"It was a bad experience," Usman added.
Later in the episode, the two of them got back together to discuss the next steps they needed to take as a couple. At an outdoor restaurant, they were interrupted by a local man offering mani-pedis, which Usman accepts.
"I do like a smooth, put-together man because we're supposed to be coming up with a plan to get his mom's blessing, and Usman is getting a pedicure and manicure," Kim said in a confessional. "What is that?"
Kim kept checking in while Usman got his nails done. He kept saying he was listening, and Kim quipped, "I'm glad your nails are pretty now."
The couple recapped their plan of getting engaged, getting a visa for Usman, marrying and moving to the United States. Usman suggested they tell his family the whole future they've mapped out.
"We should just try," he told Kim.
She agreed, with the caveat that no matter their reaction or requests she would not be anyone's second wife.
"If I leave here single, I leave here single," she said. But Usman didn't like that answer.
"I've been compromising more than what you've compromised," he said. "You're not compromising anything to me."
Usman said that their relationship took him by surprise, even after he had sworn off dating American women and made a big declaration about it.
"It happened natural. Then I find out that I love you and you love me too," he said. "And now you're here telling me can't do this? You're making me feel like I'm begging you."
In a confessional, Usman said Kim's offhand comment about breaking up was "so disrespectful," after he had invested more than two years in their relationship. But, he said, "I'm not giving up."
When Kim doubled down on him telling his family she wouldn't be "anybody's second anything," Usman got mad.
He said he has the advantage that women around him could be beautiful and sexy, but he has chosen to stay with Kim because of their love.
"So am I ugly now?" Kim asked, and Usman continued talking while Kim left in a huff.
"Telling me we should break up? At your age? If we break up, do you think I have anything to regret? You need to understand that I don't need anything from any woman," he said.
In a confessional, Usman said that at Kim's age she has more to lose from a breakup. He said he has rich, beautiful women in his DMs he could date.
Kim cried back in her hotel room, adding "I'm not doing this. He doesn't deserve it. I'm tired of the little f---ing comments. Like he's doing me a favor."
"Let him find one that's as good as I am," Kim said, questioning if her relationship is even real. "I don't even want the blessing now. I just don't care."
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on TLC and discovery+.
