On the latest 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, Yohan and Daniele both had mixed feelings about growing their family.
Monday night’s episode saw the couple visit their fertility doctor Dr. Rojas, who had told them a year before that the odds of Daniele getting pregnant with her own eggs were “very low.” After nine months of trying to conceive naturally, the spouses decided to consider using an egg donor.
But Yohan expressed doubts about going this route, admitting he was struggling to make peace with the fact that the baby wouldn’t actually share Daniele’s DNA, even if she physically carried it to term.
“It bothers me that it won’t be her kid, it would be a donor’s,” he shared in an interview. “There are many traits Daniele has that I would want my children to have, like her eyes, her nose.” He then joked, “But not her temperament.”
For her part, Daniele acknowledged that she had “high expectations” and cared less about what their donor would look like and more about “what she does for a living.”
Dr. Rojas said that if they agreed to begin picking out the donor that day, then they would be able to start the actual process in about 15 days. In an interview, he noted it would be beneficial to do it “fast” because “the longer she waits, the rate [of success] will become lower.”
Later in the episode, Yohan told Daniele they needed to figure out if they wanted to proceed right away or wait. That said, she was harboring doubts about his intentions for parenthood.
“I think that you want to be a father because you want to play, and you want all the good things with kids,” she said. “But there are difficult things too.”
She later confided in producers, “I don’t think that he knows what’s necessary to allow a child to thrive. What kind of education do we want them to have? What spiritual practice are they going to have? Kids need structure and boundaries, and I think it’s gonna be hard for us to bridge that gap.”
Daniele also directly told Yohan he didn’t seem ready for the responsibility of having a child.
“I know how to take care of a child,” he argued. “I have 10 nephews and I’ve been in charge of most of them. I’ve given them milk, taken care of them. I’ve cleaned their s — -. So, I know what it is to take care of a child.
Daniele clarified that she wasn’t worried he doesn’t know how to change a diaper — she was more concerned that the two of them “don’t think the same things are important.”
When Daniele pointed out that they disagreed on his nephews’ bedtime, Yohan became defensive. “For me, that is very offensive,” he said in a confessional interview. “The fact that in my country, kids are raised differently doesn’t mean our way of raising kids is bad.”
However, Daniele continued to push the issue, claiming that he thinks “if our baby is not dead, then it’s fine.” She simply needed to make sure the two of them shared the same values before they added a baby into the mix.
“I’m frustrated that we aren’t understanding each other,” she admitted. “And that’s where I’m really scared. How are we going to be able to raise a kid when we can’t communicate? This is f — -ed up. Like, I don’t really know what to do.”
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on TLC.
