The Pro Dancer, Peta Murgatroyd, 35, revealed that she suffered miscarriage when her husband Maks Chmerkovskiy, 42, was in Ukraine. She explained tragic incident during her exclusive interview with the PEOPLE, scroll down to read what she said in her interview.
"I had no strength. I couldn't open a dishwasher. I couldn't open the fridge to feed Shai, to get him some toast, It got so bad that my breath was starting to be affected. It was really dramatic."
"I thought he was going to reveal some really bad news. I was like, 'What's wrong?' His face dropped, He said, 'Did you know you were pregnant?' "
"He heard the doctor say, 'You're pregnant,' "
"I ultimately had no idea [I was pregnant], which in hindsight was better for my recovery because I didn't have that super joyous moment of, 'I'm pregnant again!' I just had the moment of, 'You lost it.' "
"I was like, 'Screw it. I'm going to fly to you in Ukraine. I'm ovulating soon. Let's make it happen,' "
"I felt like I was dying, but then I obviously knew what had happened, It was just all too much for my body and I couldn't do it. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me."
"To not be there [with her]... it's crazy. It makes you feel helpless,"
"I was petrified. I was trying to tell myself, 'It's going to be okay.' Of course, deep down, I knew."
"I was sitting in the bathroom sobbing. I'm surprised nobody walked in because I was crying so heavily and wailing, one of those deep cries, That was something that will probably live with me for the rest of my life, being on that toilet by myself, knowing what was happening and not being able to stop it."
"I think the darkest part is when the person you are in love with calls you and she says that she had a miscarriage in the bathroom, that's as dark as it can get,"
"I was completely embarrassed, ultimately ashamed. I didn't even know how to utter the words and have that sentence come out of my mouth: I had a miscarriage," says an emotional Murgatroyd. "I'm somebody who prides herself on health wellness. I exercise every single day. But as I came to realize, that doesn't really go hand-in-hand with the reproductive system."
"With the trauma, I took a very long time to get over it, It was months and months of crying most nights in bed by myself, crying in the shower, it was a lot of denial. What had I done wrong?"
"I had to call him and say, 'It's happened again,' This was the first time that I heard him get really upset, which was hard to hear because I know how it affects him too."
"I never thought that two healthy, athletic people could be in a predicament like this. It's a lot to process."
"I try to do my best in supporting Peta. I'm a changed man because of this experience, I think that if you look around, you will find that most of your friends have had issues [trying to conceive]. I realized that this is more common and this is not being talked about."
"When? Why me? Why can't I have another child when it was so easy in the past? All of these questions just really bothered me and that's what brought me to finally see a specialist."
"For the first time in nearly two years, I feel excited, I'm in a much happier place. I got answers."
"I don't have any other words but hope and positivity. I'm crossing my fingers that this is going to work."
