Things have been rocky for 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days couple Riley and Violet ever since they met up in person in Vietnam, but this week offered a glimmer of hope for the oddball pair thanks to an honest conversation that addressed some simmering issues.
While touring the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh, Riley and Violet found a bench and sat down because Violet wasn’t feeling well. That proved an opportunity for the two to open up about their hangups with each other.
Violet, 43, felt Riley, 48, was rude to her and her family when they had dinner the previous night. After the meal, Violet's mother told her she felt Riley was “jealous” and wanted to “control” her.
“I’m not trying to control [you],” Riley answered. “I’m trying to understand what’s going on.”
She also explained he wasn’t “thoughtful” and that it is customary in her culture for a suitor to bring their date’s mother a gift like flowers or chocolates — something Riley failed to do.
“When you come visit my home, you don’t buy a flower or some chocolates,” she explained. “Very bad. Yeah, very bad in Vietnam.”
Riley felt “horrible” for disrespecting Violet’s mother and country. “That’s not my intention,” he said. “I do need to learn more about your culture.”
“My question to you is, when are you going to learn about my culture?” Riley added. “You call me ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ in front of people. In my culture, in America, that’s rude. That’s disrespectful, especially when a woman says that about the man that she’s with.”
Realizing the error of her ways, Violet said she was “sorry.” “I never thought to intentionally upset Riley,” she admitted later. “To make this relationship better, I think I need to change myself a bit, too.”
Violet’s apology appeared to put Riley somewhat at ease and gave him a renewed sense of optimism.
“I don’t want to give up on us,” Riley said. “I think we have the potential, but I think fundamentally, we’re not understanding each other’s culture. But I think we have the opportunity to make this something good by paying attention [to each other], by asking questions. I’m willing to try, because I care about you.”
Riley asked Violet to dinner, which she agreed to. “Do you mind if I wear sexy dress?” she added.
“I would really like you to wear a sexy dress,” he said, smiling.
During a confessional interview later, Riley admitted his trip hadn’t been “so easy,” but he thought he and Violet were “really starting to communicate” more.
“I want to believe this is us starting to get back on track, but in reality, we have a lot of issues we need to address," he said. "I’m willing to put in the work, because I believe in us. I just hope she does, too.”
90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days airs on Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on TLC.
