SZA is more than meets the eye.
On Dec. 9, SZA (born Solána Rowe) released her sophomore album SOS with much anticipation. Soon after, she watched as her album climbed the charts and made her the No. 1 artist globally — something she never imagined would happen, but her younger self had prepared her for.
Growing up, the "Kill Bill" singer, 33, experienced bullying in school in different forms.
"I was bullied because I wasn't quiet and I was awkward at the same time," the Grammy-winner tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "I wasn't this tiny sad victim, but I was more so attacked just because it was giving 'What is wrong with you?' energy."
"I always thought, 'Oh my God.' I'll never have the approval of anyone in life, this must be my defining factor, this must be the bottom line," she adds.
Looking back, she realizes that her experiences shaped her into who she is and she wouldn't take it back.
"I realized that all the things that made me feel so lame were actually what made me into who I am," she says. "It's like, I didn't go to prom because I didn't have any friends and I had no one to go to prom with ... [and now] it's so weird that my life turned into [having] a bodyguard while traveling to parties."
She continues, "All these things, if I had such a fulfilling existence and experience in high school, I would've felt validated to the point where I didn't need to do anymore. [So] I just had to do more, I had to be more because I was like, 'This s—ty experience can't be the end of it because if it is, I am cooked.' "
SZA grew up in Maplewood, New Jersey, and was raised by a Muslim father and a Christian mother. In middle school, the singer-songwriter faced Islamophobia and stopped wearing her hijab in school after 9/11. Since then, she's been vocal about her faith and takes pride in it.
Now, when she's overwhelmed or feels the need to unplug, the "Snooze" songstress knows where to turn. "Sometimes it's crying, sometimes it's eating my favorite food, or going to the beach, or going for a walk or doing Shambhavi [Mahamudra]."
"Sometimes it's just praying straight up by myself and just telling God, 'Wow, I feel so trash right now and I desperately need your help,' " she adds.
For young girls who are in a similar situation, SZA — who recently celebrated her second consecutive week at No. 1 on Billboard's 200 chart — also shared some words of encouragement.
"Everyone who experiences bullying, that just sucks, but it's going to lead you to something, it has to," the "Low" singer says. "If you could hold on and just wait until high school is over because 10 years from now, I promise you, none of those people will matter."
"I'm grateful."
